For some of us, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend (or many of them) is a completely normal thing in life, and usually it starts when we hit our teenage years and continues later in life.
Dating is a part of our lives, just like any other aspect of our lives.
We do not question whether it is ok to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we just take it as a normal part of life.
Some people choose to stay in such relations for their entire lives, while others do it and have or are in such status until they get married.
And in certain parts of the world, having girlfriends and boyfriends besides a regular wife or a husband is not seen as a wrong thing, in fact, this is something that is acceptable, even if it is not discussed very much publically.
Times have changed not only in a global way, but in every other way, and here we are talking about the impact of all those changes on religious communities, that may have somewhat strict rules for their believers, and the Islamic community is under very strict and some would say rigid rules, but this is also not the case in every part of the world where the Muslim community resides.
As this community is wide, so are the rules and their understanding of them.
Now, some religious believers have said that nowadays, in these modern times, it has become a common event in the Muslim youth society, that they have boyfriends and girlfriends, and it is seen as a great sin.
It is said that Muslim youth has fallen under the so-called traps of Western civilization.
What can be the reason for it, is another matter, but here we want to speak more of this concept girlfriend, and the idea is that allowed for Muslim youth.
Is It Haram To Have a Girlfriend?
Right away we would say that this is the case and that having a girlfriend is seen as haram, as two people should be married.
Some scholars say that the reason lies in parents who are not strict and who do not explain how serious this matter is.
Instead, they issue a “no girlfriend” fatwa when their kids reach these years when they want to date.
The fact is that the Islamic religion does not recognize such things as a girl-boy connection.
You have to be married or you are not married, there is nothing else,
It is said that this must be said to children since they are very young – and parents must stop this and never allow their kids to have such relationships.
The only way that this is no haram, is that this girlfriend is the one that they would marry, in a form of premarital relationship.
And it is seen that this is something that must be taken seriously, this premarital relationship, particularly when kids are teenagers.
And that this is not something that is allowed, as they are seen as
extramarital affairs, or adultery.
It is sinful since it is believed that this corrupts the community and that such behavior ruins families and family values.
Also, the reason why such relations are not allowed lies in the fact that this is the way to have illegitimate children, and abandon them, and also to perform abortions, or in the worst case to have sexually transmitted diseases.
Also, Islam predicts also punishment for such sins – and the blood of the Muslim who has done such crimes should be shed.
It is advised by Islamic scholars for parents to speak with kids and
not have girlfriends, and they must be in control without any sexual connection.
It is said that when a boy and a girl are together that they are not alone and they will be aroused and with them, there is Satan who will move them to make a sin.
Satan will whisper and want to make them do something that is strictly forbidden.
They must not be corrupted.
Children must be though to restrain their desires, and for that, they would be rewarded by the hand of Almighty Allah.
Rules regarding these relations in Islam
There is no suspicion that male Muslim men or woman has to be in a position to always be in control of their feelings, particularly when it comes to love.
This is the reason why the Sharia has defined social and moral standards that must set people to stay in the proper lane, and this means to lower their gaze, women should be covered, men and women must not socialize together, etc.
Following these rules, and we are not saying this is easy, but in the long term, this makes it a bit more comfortable for both sexes to control the abnormal and disorderly flare-ups of feelings, which could direct to actions that would abuse the people themselves and community all-around.
If we were to take as an instance a community that would use these criteria thoroughly, then, in the society, a person would really not even have the opportunity to be in love, before that person would have the real requirements to directly or in the immediate future.
Islamic faith has rules that must be followed – it is not allowed for kids to
mingle voluntarily with the opposite sex.
Man must put their head down when he sees a woman, and women must also lower their view to protect themselves and their private parts.
It is said that the Prophet Muhammad has proclaimed that the second view must never follow the first one which is only allowed.
This could prove that the first glance may be an accident, and therefore it is allowed, but not the second, and it is not advisable to look more.
Just even looking at someone is perceived as lustful.
Girls must be thought not to make a seductive voice, and never to flirt.
Never be overly pleasant, as this is seen as a desire and temptation.
They must be dressed appropriately, never to draw attention to themselves, and boys also must wear loose wardrobes, never something tight; like pants and a shirt.
This is not an acceptable dress code by Islamic rules.
Modesty is a trait that must be in children, and this is the case mostly when they are with others, with members of the opposite sex.
They must be shy and never behave inappropriately.
We must also add that in practice, more rigid rules are applied to women than men, and this is understandable completely, as a woman has fewer rights in Islam than men, as we know.
Is having a girlfriend ever halal in Islam?
No, the answer to this question is that this is not allowed in Muslim laws, neither a Muslim boy to give a girlfriend, nor a Muslim girl to have a boyfriend.
Both situations are not permitted, but as we have said, for a female it is even worse to get involved in such actions, as she will bring shame to the entire family.
Now, it is said that all Muslim people are encouraged to have food relations with people and to be good people.
Being polite is what is expected from the for sure, but what is not halal is to be overly nice, so that that other person has some temptations.
And this includes having girlfriends and boyfriends.
Any friendships with the opposite sex can lead to haram, and as it is said in the Holy Book Quran, Allah has said that only good people, both male and female are those who are married and do not have any other types of relations with the opposite sex.
Whoever wants to get involved in these actions is seen as sinful and in great danger.
Having also intimate friends of the same sex is also seen as haram, and it is strictly forbidden since this is homosexuality is also forbidden in Islam.
This is one of the biggest sins in the Muslim world, so any intimidation is not permitted, that has a sexual connotation.
More about dating
One research that was conducted has shown that younger people are now more than ever choosing to stay single, and they find many ways how they will spend that time, and not with their significant other.
And maybe this seems to be contradictory, but we must say that when something comes to its peak, then it gives birth to its opposition.
We would think that nowadays in the times of modern relationships, chasing partners regularly, and having sex with any commitment will produce more and more such relations and that traditional values will be lost.
But this also produces its opposition, that younger people are dating very little, and that they have a true problem with being intimate.
It seems that some traditional values are shaken to the core.
And it also seems that more than ever some relations, most notably, the Islamic religion calling upon turning back toward core values, and maybe subsequently Muslim youth is more than ever in problem.
Conclusion
Being in love, or falling deeply in love between two lovers is in the Islamic religion permitted only when it has the potential and real prerequisites to be represented and embodied in an ethical and legitimate manner, both from one side and from the other, thus, only when the people who are in love have the opportunity to communicate their uninhibited urge, which is without any condition, associated with external physical interest in matrimony, which indicates mutual dues and responsibilities.
Of course, there must be a large care for boys, and families in the Islamic faith must know that there is a death in the family when a daughter engages in a girl-boy relationship.
We have to say that there is a bit more understanding when it comes to boys who are having girlfriends and people are more forgiving.
It is seen like a boy should enjoy and have some experiences before he meets the one he would marry.
And the daughter is the one who has a boyfriend, who will ruin the honor of the entire family.
And honor is that thing that must remain intact – the entire family must guard their honor, and if that honor is deemed as lost, then that woman is basically sentenced to death.
The reason is more for the protection of rules that comes from Islam.
It is relevant for the family to always speak to children, and have clear
channels of communication with kids, so that the entire family can talk and explain, and they can ask questions without either party feeling ashamed.
Then, when they are older, and with your help, as parents, they will start to comprehend why there can be no such thing as a ‘girl-boy relationship’.
So, we have concluded that having a friend of the opposite sex is seen as haram in Islamic regions, and this has been the case since the early days.
Islam sees this as the lead that carries all into the sex, and extramarital affairs and this is haram, of course, as some say this could be partially incense, but the law is the law.
The fact is that Quaran sees as haram everything that leads toward sins, sex, desire, and any form of lust.
This is a leading problem for which Islam has established regulations and laws to control.
It is haram to do anything that has got to do with seduction, outside of the marriage.
Anything that could be seen as tempting is not allowed, as it is seen as an action that leads people into sin, and they will never be able to go to heaven.
In the end, we must add this – love is seen as a highly moral act, and simultaneously, to benefit it, multiple sinful activities are permitted, such as treachery, deception, lies, and the like.
Many times in our lives we have approved things that are sinful just for love’s sake, like for example, the adultery saying that that person is truly in deep love, without acknowledging that we have slipped into Satan’s entanglement in which love and passion are invariably connected to the infringement of every shape values and virtue.
Unfortunately, this dignified sense, which should be dedicated only to two married people, these days, as Islamic scholars like to define it, has evolved into a simple means through which all people, especially the juvenile, in a manner that is pleasing to them, submit in sin, fornication and evil of all sorts.
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