Especially for modern people, and those who live in Western society, it is very common and normal to nurture male-female friendships.
This is something that is encouraged since we were kids, to respect all and to have all friendships, as they make us feel healthy, and properly develop us.
Having friends that belong to both sexes, has an impact on our emotional intelligence, and the way we are developed later in life.
Of course, in certain societies, there are certain limitations, both accepted from the past, as well as those that were put there from strict rulings that come from families that are living in a patriarchy, or from a certain religion that forbids such friendships.
And, as much as this is problematic in the terms of a modern point of view, we must say that this is present for centuries and more, and it is hard to move from it.
And this is even more true in certain countries that have more closed societies.
The first religion that comes to us regarding this topic is the Islamic religion.
We know, even if we do not belong to this religion that it has its saying in all matters of believers’ lives, and therefore this is one of those matters that are regulated by some rules.
But things are more complex than the simple rule, there is always a different interpretation of a certain regulation.
So, here we will try to provide as many explanations as possible regarding this topic, which is truly important for all people.
And just to add, even in Western societies these relations are raising eyebrows, cause people are always assuming that they are not possible.
Is It Haram To Be Friends With The Opposite Gender?
If we want to look at things from a general standpoint, we can find this – Islam does not recognize female-male friendship, so it is not possible to talk about its formation.
All that we will give you here, as many interpretations as possible, is something that must be included.
It is not halal to have friends with the opposite sex, and the reason behind this is the possibility of sin.
It is very likely that by becoming friends with a person who is the opposite sex, there can be a sinful approach that destroys a valid marriage, so no one should knowingly allow themselves that luxury.
It is haram since this is a temptation that should be avoided by all means.
Islamic scholars even say that in the times of the Prophet, women addressed men and asked them about important serial situations exclusively behind the curtain so that those with sick hearts would not fall into temptation.
Everything that could be done to avoid this.
But, some are going further than this and do not simplify the idea of friendship in terms – of haram and halal.
They say that as far as the Sharia is concerned, it is acceptable to interact with persons of the opposite sex with whom we are not prohibited from entering into marriage, as long as our intentions are pure and our behavior is following the teachings of Islam.
However, it is haram to take a person of the opposite sex as a close friend, since this can lead to haram, and only Allah knows how, where, and when this can happen.
This does not mean that pure friendship is prohibited only for the sake of cooperation based on kindness and piety and following Islamic regulations.
One Islamic scholar has even said – that the relationship between lovers which is in opposition to the Sharia law is seen as a big problem, a huge one even, since it has a lot that it pulls with itself.
At this point, it is not permitted for a man to make phone calls with a woman, or a female with a man, even if that man says that he wants to marry her.
This is also seen as a big haram and things should go in the direction that that man should not speak to her, but inform her elder that he wants to marry that woman.
Is it ever halal to have a friend of the opposite gender?
There is a framework, a public friendship between all believers in general, and this was nicely written in the Islamic book – all believers of all sex are friends with each other.
This is common, as there are expected kinship and neighborhood ties and friendships within families.
Nevertheless, any special friendship between a man and a woman, beyond marriage and outside collegial connections at work, is not known or recognized by Sharia.
The seclusion of a man and a foreign woman is prohibited.
Well, many will say then how is permitted for a man to have a regular wife and a lover, but this s something that is attributed to Western societies, as Islam does not allow it.
It is said that such an idea of the free relationship that the Western system supports, Islam has united whoever has the opportunity to marry up to four women, and the concept of friendship cannot be viewed in any other way.
So, having more than one wife is permitted, and this is the only way that the so-called friendship is allowed.
People of this faith must always have in mind that they should act as Allah would be pleased.
They must opt to be in the right company, choose right from wrong, and occupy themselves with what Allah values and is satisfied with.
Constantly seek the highest, be ambitious, sacrifice baseness, and base things that only the worst are happy with.
This is particularly true when people are younger as there is a greater possibility to perform a sin – they must use their submission to Allah, seeking wisdom and calling.
Men should always opt for a good woman that will be a great wife – all Islamic scholars say it and advise younger people to marry a good and virgin woman, a believer who will protect their faith and who will stimulate them to stick to the religion of Allah.
It is enough for one good one, the one partner that will, by all means, protect the family and raise your children in morals and religion.
Allah will punish those who accept to go out with a person with whom she is not allowed to go out or talk.
And the one who goes out in this way now, what will stop her later in the future?
This is not halal, and it is seen as a major sin among people, especially younger ones.
Conclusion
Can a man and a woman be just friends? This kind of friendship is often called “platonic love”.
A relationship between two people based in this way does not involve sexual attraction. Are these relationships permanent?
Are they friendship, love or is something else hidden behind them?
Some will defend Platonic love, others will claim that such a thing is impossible because at least one party feels sexual attraction or has special emotions.
Maybe you were once in that situation or claimed that two people around you who are friends still have something more between them.
Relations between men and women can be misunderstood and nowadays almost completely impossible without being labeled by society, and when religion and its strict rules are there, then the situation becomes more complicated.
Particularly, for this reason, people of the Islamic faith have an issue in finding out what is permissible and what is not in the terms of being friends with the opposite sex, without breaking any rules.
Islamic scholars say that Allah Almighty orders Muslims to turn to learned people to become well acquainted with the teachings of Islam as well as with all aspects of life.
And the question here is why are these relations regulated by the Islamic faith.
The reason is to preserve piety and sincerity in religion.
Certain conditions must be met when interacting with a person of the opposite sex, such as avoiding isolating a Muslim woman with a non-mahram, following dress codes, appropriate speech, limiting friendships to work, studies, family, etc.
As long as a man and a woman treat each other in public following the teachings of Islam, such friendship is pure.
However, a married man may feel attracted to a woman who is not his wife in such a way that he feels the desire to develop a close relationship with her. Such a situation should be avoided because it can lead to actions that are prohibited.
Having a women’s love to be that or a friend is not permitted as it is seen as an act that destroys the family, but also society and community, and such are promised Allah’s punishment, wrath, and revenge.
Having and nurturing such feelings is seen as a condition that destroys the heart, leads to sin and fornication, and Satan will not stop facilitating and seducing until fornication happens, and when it happens, everyone, both that person and Satan, has received what they wanted.
There are numerous Sharia bans on this matter, such as tarnishing the honor of other people, cheating in trust, seclusion, touch, kissing, ugly and rude speech, and at the end of the road – a significant sin or fornication.
Those people who do it will find punishment, as Islam believes that Allah can see everything that happens even things people want to hide, that are hidden from the views of all, and which people believe that they cannot see.
He can, and this is something that people will be punished for.
It is advisable by all, and this is true for all those who are in their younger age, who have more of such temptations, to turn to their souls, and to bring it up in obedience to Allah the Exalted, and to fear Allah regarding the honor of others, and to work for the day when you will meet with your deeds.
There will always be a shame that is left and that will remain and follow those who have done such deeds.
It is also said that all people will have wives and daughters and that therefore it is not reasonable if nothing to look for someone’s daughter, etc.
The answer is without a doubt that you don’t accept, so people don’t accept as well as you don’t accept, and know that you will see the consequences of your sins in your family as a form of punishment for you from Allah Almighty.
And it will be severe and harsh.
All believers must have in mind that when such actions can make Allah angry, with these sins of being alone, meeting, talking, and the like, and what comes after that is much worse.
They must be aware at all times that fornication is not only a sexual thing, but you can do it with your hand’s eyes, etc, and this is the way that Devil will try to deceive people.
Satan will attempt to make you do it since he is the real enemy, he wishes people evil and misfortune and orders them to commit fornication and sin.
In the end, all believers are left with the decision to choose right from wrong, and this also includes what kind of company you will choose, and always do such actions that Allah will be pleased with.
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